Is it Narcissism...or Jealousy and Envy

The Tenth Commandment
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass,
nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. Exo 20:17

For several years there's been an escalation of concentration on the subject of what is called "narcissism". For me, it's a fairly new term that's used widely on the internet and social media today. But, in reality it's roots are found in the last commandment given by God to Moses, that most of society has never heard of, and other's forgotten. The tenth commandment, to not covet something someone else has. In reality, coveting is embedded in narcissism, and can be detected by the persons actions.

This post is going to break down what narcissism really is, and how I believe it's being used to the point of being inappropriate, and actually falsely accusing people at times. People are very clever in using the latest new definitions and terms as weapons, and labeling people falsely. I'll explain as this progresses. 

First, what is the definition of a narcissist and what traits does a narcissist have?

Narcissism is an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse characterized by a pattern of manipulation, control, and exploitation. It erodes the victim's sense of self-worth and reality. Typical signs include constant criticism, lack of empathy, manipulation, isolation, and boundary violations. 
Here's a more detailed breakdown:

Manipulation and Control
Gaslighting:
The abuser distorts the victim's reality, making them question their sanity and memory. Phrases like "You're overreacting," "I never said that," or "You're imagining things" are common. 
Love bombing:
Initially, the abuser showers the victim with excessive affection and attention to gain control and manipulate them. 
Blame-shifting:
Narcissists deflect responsibility and blame the victim for their own actions or problems. 
Exploitation:
The abuser may exploit the victim's time, energy, resources, or emotions for their own benefit. 
Triangulation:
Introducing a third party into the relationship to create jealousy or manipulate the victim. 
Emotional blackmail:
Using threats or intimidation to control the victim's behavior. 

There's much more that you can find on the internet that goes much further on this, but this is the general term and definition.

When we look up the definitions of envy and jealousy, we can see that both of these are evident in the narcissist:

Envy is resentment or sadness at another’s good fortune or excellence, with an often insatiable desire to have it for oneself. Envy is more than simple jealousy because it includes the belief that another’s excellence or blessings lessens one’s own, and it makes one want to destroy another’s good fortune. As a deadly sin, envy is believed to generate other sins and further immoral behavior; it can be countered with the heavenly virtue of gratitude.

Jealousy is the feeling of anger or bitterness that someone has when they think that another person is trying to take a lover or friend, or a possession, away from them.

Jealousy is the feeling of anger or bitterness that someone has when they wish that they could have the qualities or possessions that another person has.
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People who have these issues will exhibit an inability to be happy regarding someone else's talents, gifts, possessions, creativity, abilities, and successes. It grates on them, and produces anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, and a desire to undermine them in various ways, to bring that person to a place of discouragement, despondency, and failure. These people take enjoyment in causing mental or emotional pain, and insecurity. They are crafty in setting up situations to make you question yourself, and accuse you of mental weakness, and instability. They will gather other's around them, to help them in their manipulations and attacks. When we watch videos of people's problem's today, we see this in action in a majority of cases. It's what causes chaos and riots in the streets, and troubles among communities. Many times, these people have a low esteem of themselves, but hide it with bragging, boasting, and loud raucous behavior, they often are the community "leaders", with a personality of a bully. They know how to attract people who are of the same personality, and they bolster each other in their actions. There is power in numbers and they know this, and use it to their advantage. 

When I listen to someone accusing another of being a narcissist now, I watch and listen to the one they are accusing, to see if the problem isn't really that they are jealous and envying what that persons accomplished, and that they are succeeding in it. I look at myself and ask the same questions and check my own motives. Most of the time, even if someone does seem to be narcissistic-there's many ways to deal with the issue, and remain silent. Pray, and give the person to the Lord, and ask for Him to intervene with the person and leave them to Him.

Let God Define Your Life-And Your Abilities

Right at the start of my salvation, the Lord Jesus began a work in me of restoration and is ongoing to this day. Through His word, He has taught me the dangers of allowing other's to define who I am, that I must not allow this, because people are fickle. They will be your friend one day, and your enemy the next. There is only One who truly knows you and I, and knows how He made us, and what abilities, talents, and gifts He's placed in each of us. He gives these talents and gifts for a purpose, for us to use them, and use them to create whatever we are able to, for the purpose of being a blessing to other's, for inspiration, and beauty and expanding our usefulness in His kingdom. Not only in this life-but the life to come, when we are joined with Him in heaven. Everything we do and achieve in this life that is rooted in goodness-has an eternal purpose. It's not just for this temporal life; it will be continually expanding and used in heaven when we will serve Christ forever, and be able to continue to use these gifts and talents there. What we learn and use to develop and grow here, is for an eternal purpose. If it brings joy and beauty and usefulness here-it will be increased exponentially there. Satan knows this, and this is why one of the greatest things he's constantly working on is destroying every person's desires and abilities that God has gifted them with. Jesus said it well, "the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy". 
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When a narcissist, and those filled with envy and coveting sees someone who is achieving something good, useful, has beauty, and exhibits skill and creativity-this is what brings resentment and a desire to destroy the goodness they see in you. It's evil, it's demonic.

​If someone in your life ridicules your abilities, insults your achievements, intentionally works to undermine your activities, or works to destroy your character in any way-do yourself a favor, and leave them and do not allow them to have access to your personal life. Don't allow them to be an influence in your life, to become like them.

These people never consider what it takes to succeed in anything that's difficult, that takes years to learn, or become skilled at. They don't have the discipline or strength of character themselves, and they hate those who they see do have the motivation and gifts to accomplish a goal, and an achievement. I feel sorry for people like this, it shows a very shallow person.

Take a bible, begin to read what God's heart and desire for you is-and realize that God is the only one you need to be concerned about, as to what He thinks of you, and what your abilities are. You may  need to make changes, and discipline yourself. God may convict you of changes you need to make, let Him be the one to help you to bring you out of your troubles, and problems. He's proven Himself to me over and over again, and His love for me. He will do the same for you.

There are many types of individuals in life, we are not all the same. There are outgoing people who like big crowds and enjoys being among large gatherings. There's also quiet people who enjoy studying, researching, gardening, fishing, and enjoying the company of one or two at a time. My attitude is to allow people to be what God has made them, and leave them alone. People who can accept the difference in character in other's, are those who desire a life of peace and understanding.

It takes diligence, time, stability, and practice to become good at anything in life. Few have the discipline to put into practice these traits to achieve lasting results. But, God places the desires and gifts in us, to see what we will do with them. I've learned over the years, that prayer in every endeavor I've taken on, was necessary to hear the Lord's guidance, and His wisdom, in achieving the successes that came. It took many years of discipline, work, learning, researching, and then going out and actually working with the Arabian horses I owned, to train them to become the champions they were. I learned many lessons during those years, in raising and training horses-and how it relates to many other aspects of life.

Every endeavor I've put my hands to, I've given first to God, and asked for His blessing, and His direction. I've used the things I learned during those years, in other areas of my life. It still bears fruit today. Some of the verses I went to often during those years of work and training, I've posted below.
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​Whatever we set our hands to do, whatever we aim to accomplish, this should be our desire:
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Col 3:23  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 
Col 3:24  Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. 

Col 3:17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. 
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Rom 12:11  Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 
Rom 12:12  Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;​

Ecc 9:10  Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. ​

Learn to Gain Wisdom from Other's

There are people in life that have gained achievements, and endeavored to do things that developed a character about them that are timeless. In my life one of these people was Mark Twain. As a young girl I read many of his books, and some of them several times. His life and works were an inspiration to me, and his quotes show his no nonsense approach to life, that I relate to. He was not perfect, and there are things he said and did, I do not agree with. But, a wise person will be able to understand this, and still see the quality of the individual, and the strength of his character. 

Going back to the subject of narcissism; Mark Twain's statement here is very valid. I believe some people are accused of being narcissists, when the truth is-they are achieving things, and using their gifts and talents with skill and creativity; and it's causing people who see this, to be jealous, envious, and coveting their abilities.

There's a fine line between narcissism and jealousy and envy-and it takes discernment to know the difference. I personally think there's people being falsely accused of being narcissists for this reason.

Conclusion:
​In ending this, I'll say that, as to every person God creates, no matter what the condition of their souls-it should be the Christians desire that they would reach the potential God had originally intended for them, when they were born. As Paul spoke in his prayer:
Eph 1:17  That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: 
Eph 1:18  The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 
Eph 1:19  And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, 
Eph 1:20  Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, 
Eph 1:21  Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 
Eph 1:22  And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, 
Eph 1:23  Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.

No matter what your station is in life, God had a specific goal, and potential for you in His mind. May you find what that is, and achieve it. May you know the joy of an accomplished goal, of the satisfaction that discipline and success brings. Of the enduring strength of character it develops, and that in eternity it will follow you into the kingdom of God, to be used for His glory, in the realms of heaven.

If God has called you to a service for Him, let Corrie Ten Booms words be an inspiration, and encouragement to you, along your path and journey.
Shalom
Lorna Couillard

Final note: The trouble I've had in creating these graphics and posting them, and getting the material posted to this page, tells me the devil does not like what is here. I've hit the nail on the head again, because the troubles in getting this here, is some of the worst I've dealt with. The AI system in this computer is also a headache, that I wish I didn't have to deal with. It's getting worse as time goes by. But, I'll add it to the lessons learned here, that will be used sometime in the future-in heaven. All things work together for good, to those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose.